Parents Share Their Mitzvah Planning Tips

By Gail Siegel

Planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah for your child can be both an exciting and stressful time. From dates to decor and many details in between, there are so many things to consider. We asked some parents who went through the process already for their favorite suggestions when planning their child’s special day. Here are some of the their best tips.

When deciding on a budget, consider putting aside extra cash for a few private Hebrew tutoring sessions before the big day in case your child needs some brushing up. Even one or two sessions can reduce stress and boost your child’s confidence before they step up on the bima.

Check out why Bar & Bat Mitzvah Celebrations Are Bigger Than Ever !

Make sure to include tips in your budget for vendors. They add up quickly. Bring cash or checks the day of the party or consider giving tips out the day before to ensure stellar service.
If your child wants a small celebration, go with it! Don’t feel pressure to have a big party even if most of your child’s friends are having them. A family vacation or intimate brunch is just as special and memorable.
Place the adult bar next to the dance floor! It keeps the adults around the action and makes for a livelier party.

When surveying potential venues, take notes about the furniture in the room and adjust accordingly. A bench outside the bathroom will encourage children to hang out there instead of where you want them—on the dance floor! Ask the venue to temporarily remove it for your event.
Five Below has great and affordable ‘swag’ the DJ can give away to the kids on the dance floor. You can also get inexpensive flip flops or slides from Old Navy.
If you are using lighting as decor, pick out the exact shade you want in advance in person while standing inside the venue. There are so many variations of each color and it takes time to find the perfect hue so don’t wait until the day of the party.

If your child goes to a summer camp or program, ask him or her for a list of their favorite summer songs and have the DJ play those songs at the end of the party when the kids get tired. When they hear them, they will jump right back on the dance floor.
Have a list of photos you want taken in advance (child with grandparents, cousin pic, etc.) so you make sure you don’t forget anyone.
Order thank you notes at the same time as your invitations. As your child receives gifts, have them write a thank you note right away. Don’t wait until they have dozens of notes to write all at once. Don’t forget to have your child write personal thank you notes to the Rabbi and the Cantor.
If you are showing a photo montage, instead of watching it during the party, watch your child’s face light up as he or she sees the photos of their loved ones though the years. You can watch the montage anytime.
If you have out of town guests and you are making them welcome bags for their hotel room, consider adding a Covid test in their bags.
Check the school calendar to make sure there are no conflicts on your date. It’s also a good idea to check for big sporting events/concerts.
Professional party planners are expensive and not realistic for most. If you can swing it, it might be worth investing in a ‘day of’ event helper for a fraction of the price so you can relax and enjoy your party and he or she can handle any problems that arise.
If you are hosting your Mitzvah at a hotel that allows payment by credit card, consider opening a credit card that offers double or triple points at hotels and settle your bill that way.

Believe it or not, some of the prettiest floral arrangements are from the in-house florist at the local grocery store chain—and for a fraction of the cost of a fancy florist.
Create a timeline of the party from start to finish and talk it over with your caterer and venue in advance. Your party probably won’t go exactly as planned but it will definitely help.
Make sure you clarify with every vendor you work with if you do not want them to post any pre- party ideas/ decor on social media.