‘Tis the season to be stressed. ‘Tis the season to be overwhelmed. But I am trying to focus on the positives. I am trying to be thankful and grateful for what is in front of me instead of being worried I am dropping a ball somewhere.
We have three months left until my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. I think I am doing well with the planning, but I keep thinking I’m forgetting something. My brain yearns for a list with items I can check off to appease my nerves.
Do I have a hoodie vendor lined up? Yes.
Décor? Check – or at least somewhat check.
Music – sign, sealed, and delivered.
Pictures and video? Please, booked for months.
The dress for the girl of honor? Yep – all set.
So why am I so stressed?
Because it is the holiday season. It is the season to scroll Amazon on Black Friday trying to figure out what deals I cannot miss. I don’t need or want anything… but I feel like I am missing out on buying everything.
I am trying to keep us focused on the party so we don’t spin out of control. I am also trying to say no to so many “add-on” things that come up as I’m trying to keep this “kids” party relatively low-key. As I keep saying, I’m not trying to keep up with “The Joneses”. The Joneses aren’t invited.
So where does that leave me as I sit here in mid-November? My mind starts to wonder what will actually make the party a success (besides amazing tacos and non-stop dancing?).
The answer is family.
As we approach Thanksgiving I am thankful for so many things. Thankful that we have a roof over our heads and the means to put food on our table. Food not only three times a day for our family of five but a big feast for our whole family on Thursday (when I am thankful my husband likes to cook!).
I am thankful that we have children and that one is approaching the age of a Bat Mitzvah.
I am thankful that she takes her Haftorah portion as seriously as she takes the party.
I am thankful that our parents can dance the hora with our daughter at her Bat Mitzvah and help lift her up in a chair.
I am thankful for my husband who nods with glossed-over eyes when asked for another opinion about the party (before I, let’s be honest, pick what I want anyway).
I am thankful for the amazing vendors I’ve found that promise to make our party smooth sailing.
I am thankful that my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah will be on the same Bimah where I had mine and my mother had hers – in front of the same ark – at the synagogue my grandparents started in 1953. This is a tremendous gift that I do not take for granted. Nor do I take for granted that our synagogue is still filled with many of the same faces who were at my Bat Mitzvah as well.
I am thankful that my husband and I, both entrepreneurs, can throw my daughter’s dream party for her at a gorgeous venue.
I am thankful she has thrived at sleepaway camp and has kids coming from all over to attend her party.
I am thankful she has so many friends that we have to order tons of favors.
I am thankful we have friends from all parts of our lives who we want to dance with at our party and whose parties we want to dance at, too.
I am thankful we have known many of these children since birth and remember them singing in nursery school.
But mostly, I am thankful that I am here and we are all healthy and we can celebrate together. When you think of all the different situations in which Bar and Bat Mitzvahs have occurred in history, we are very lucky to be living in America in 2022. We are lucky to have the freedom to celebrate and the means to do it how we want.
It is so important to stop and be thankful. It is easy to spin out of control and hard to stop and say thank you.
Gratitude puts things into perspective.
So as you also stress about all the tiny details gnawing at you before your beautiful event date comes and goes, stop and think about how thankful you are for just a moment.
Thursday is a great time for this. But so are Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Just stop and be thankful.
Plus, it’s easy to rhyme it with something for a candle. Here is my gift to you: Grandma we are so thankful for you, please come up and light candle number two.
Stacey Wallenstein is the founder of the parenting & lifestyle blog The Mint Chip Mama. Visit her website at themintchipmama.com and find her across all socials at: @themintchipmama
