There’s something that makes the party you’ve been planning for a year become so real once you drop the paper invitations in the mailbox or hit send on an online invitation. Suddenly you have invited everyone you know to your big event. It’s like the moment after you give birth and only you know that you had the baby. But once you announce it, it’s the world’s information.
With online invites, everyone knows instantaneously! With paper invites, you can’t see when people receive them and only know they received them once they respond. Either way, oh my gosh! What an adrenaline rush!
I don’t know why, but when we put our invites in the mail, it made it all so real and I freaked out. It’s like ok, this is happening. Before it was a concept, but now I’m inviting people to a place at a time and once they say yes it has to happen.
The excitement grew as people started to text me with words of encouragement and happy responses! Yikes!! It’s real! It’s exciting and it means our mitzvah is coming. Yay! But it also means that the hourglass has officially turned over and with every proverbial grain of sand that falls, it’s a day closer to the big day. It’s such a combination of nerves and joy! It means that you now have a limited time to cross all your T’s and dot all your I’s. It also means starting to get guest counts and placing your orders.
As responses roll in, you go through the emotional rollercoaster of people whom you want to say no saying yes and vice versa. It’s politics and gossip and friend groups. It’s best friend texts and cohort group texts and leaning on your friends also going through the same exciting time. It’s following up on RSVPs with awkward conversations (seriously, how hard is it to just RESPOND) and starting to think about table sizes and seating.
At this rate, the excitement builds like an avalanche and the butterflies in your stomach take over in full force!
Once our invitations went out, I felt like screaming “game on”. It was similar to when August 1st rolls around and I realize we have one month left of summer until school begins again. It’s like you have all the time in the world until a tangible marker comes around to flick you in the forehead and remind you time is ticking!
Suddenly, you feel the crunch. The hustle. The need to get stuff checked off your list.
It’s a very exciting feeling, and as a parent, it’s overwhelming because you’re focusing on all the tiny details, but also wanting to support your kid. There’s all the fun stuff with the party but also the important stuff like studying, speech writing, and practicing. It’s hard to not get taken over by the fun of the party and forgetting that the service is the important part. It will arguably be the most important day of your child’s life up to this point, but I will be the first to admit it’s easy to lose focus and get so caught up in the minutiae of a big fat sparkly dance party.
Of course, everything will be perfect, and in truth, anything that’s missed will only be noticed by you. I keep trying to come back to that for a little bit of perspective. The good news is, as things pop up in your mind at 2am while you lay in bed, you can easily order them in the morning. Even better with online shipping being so quick, the “homestretch crunch” is more like 72 hours before your event.
I keep saying if I stop now and do nothing more, everything will be perfect. I keep thinking these last few weeks are like the different knobs on a pair of binoculars. I’ve already turned the big one to get everything into focus. Now I just need to fine-tune things to get them all set and clear. It’s just so exciting to be going through the motions, knowing that the end result will be this beautiful (hopefully) ceremony and amazing (hopefully) party that we’ve been looking forward to since the day my daughter was born. Even if we decided not to do a montage.
Stacey Wallenstein is the founder of the parenting & lifestyle blog The Mint Chip Mama. Visit her website at themintchipmama.com and find her across all socials at @themintchipmama
