The Best B’nei Mitzvah Movies of the 2000’s
Now that my daughter is 13, the options for movie night have increased exponentially. This weekend, we decided on “You are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah,” a PG-13 film starring Adam Sandler and Idina Menzel (a.k.a. Queen Elsa from Frozen). Having attended public school in Brooklyn, New York, I probably went to more bat mitzvahs than sweet sixteen parties as a child. So it caught me by surprise when she asked me to explain what type of party a bat mitzvah was. She was bummed out that she didn’t get a party when she turned 13 – even though we are not even Jewish – until I explained that a b’nei mitzvah is not just a party but a major milestone in the lives of young Jewish people.
Here are some noteworthy films released this century that delve into this Jewish coming-of-age period, or the b’nei mitzvah, to watch with your own family on movie night.
13: The Musical (2022) is a lively coming-of-age film based on the Broadway musical of the same name. It follows Evan Goldman, a New York City teen who moves to a small Indiana town after his parents’ divorce. Determined to make his bar mitzvah the social event of the year, Evan navigates the challenges of making new friends, fitting in, and dealing with middle school drama. Along the way, he learns valuable lessons about friendship, empathy, and staying true to himself. Packed with catchy songs, humor, and heartfelt moments, the film captures the universal struggles of growing up while celebrating the importance of community and self-acceptance.
The Bar Mitzvah Boys (2018) is a poignant documentary that explores the unique bond between a devout teenage boy and a solitary, elderly atheist widower. As they prepare together for a spiritual ceremony, the young boy assumes the role of mentor, striving to rekindle the old man’s faith and trust. Through this journey, the widower gradually opens up, confronting memories of a harrowing past that led to the loss of his family, childhood, and religious belief. The film delves into themes of intergenerational friendship, healing, and the enduring impact of history on personal identity.
Between the Temples (2024) is a comedy-drama directed by Nathan Silver, featuring Jason Schwartzman as Ben Gottlieb, a synagogue cantor grappling with a crisis of faith and the loss of his wife. His life takes an unexpected turn when he reconnects with his former elementary school music teacher, Carla Kessler, portrayed by Carol Kane, who enrolls as his adult bat mitzvah student. As they navigate their shared grief and rediscover their Jewish heritage, their evolving relationship challenges community norms and personal boundaries. The film offers a nuanced exploration of faith, community, and the complexities of human connection, enriched by the chemistry between Schwartzman and Kane.
Cha Cha Real Smooth (2022) is a heartfelt dramedy that follows Andrew, a charismatic and aimless 22-year-old fresh out of college, who starts working as a party host for bar and bat mitzvahs while figuring out his next steps in life. At one of the events, he forms an unexpected bond with Domino, a young mother, and her autistic daughter, Lola. As Andrew becomes increasingly intertwined with their lives, he navigates the complexities of love, responsibility, and self-discovery. Balancing humor and emotional depth, the film explores themes of growing up, finding connection, and learning when to let go, all with an authentic and poignant touch.
Keeping Up with the Steins (2006) is a comedic exploration of family dynamics, tradition, and identity set against the backdrop of an extravagant bar mitzvah. When 13-year-old Benjamin Fiedler’s father, Adam, becomes fixated on outdoing a rival family’s over-the-top celebration, Benjamin grows increasingly uncomfortable with the lavish plans. Meanwhile, Benjamin secretly invites his estranged grandfather, Irwin, whose laid-back and unconventional lifestyle clashes with Adam’s uptight demeanor. As the family reconnects and confronts past tensions, they rediscover the importance of love, authenticity, and celebrating milestones in meaningful ways rather than through material excess. This heartwarming comedy combines humor with heartfelt moments, offering a light-hearted yet touching commentary on family bonds and cultural traditions.
Mabul (The Flood) (2011) is an Israeli drama that explores the complexities of family, love, and acceptance. The story centers on Yoni, a gifted yet bullied 13-year-old boy preparing for his bar mitzvah while his family quietly falls apart. His mother struggles with addiction, and his father faces professional and personal failures. When Yoni’s older brother, Tomer, who has severe autism, unexpectedly returns home, the family is forced to confront their long-buried issues. As tensions rise, Yoni learns to navigate his complicated relationships, find strength within himself, and embrace the messy, imperfect love that binds his family. This poignant film is a heartfelt portrayal of resilience and the challenges of coming of age in a fractured household.
Sixty Six (2006) is a heartwarming British coming-of-age comedy-drama about Bernie Rubens, a shy and awkward boy whose bar mitzvah in 1966 is meant to be the biggest day of his life. However, his dreams of a grand celebration start to unravel when it coincides with the FIFA World Cup final, where England’s unexpected success captures the nation’s attention. As Bernie’s big day becomes overshadowed by the excitement of the tournament, he grapples with feelings of neglect and disappointment, all while his family faces their own struggles. Ultimately, the film delivers a touching story about family, resilience, and finding joy in unexpected places, set against the nostalgic backdrop of 1960s England.
You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah (2023) is a comedic and heartfelt coming-of-age story about friendship, family, and self-discovery. Stacy Friedman is a teenage girl eagerly planning her dream bat mitzvah, but her world is turned upside down when a falling-out with her best friend, Lydia, threatens everything. As the two navigate middle school drama, crushes, and family expectations, Stacy learns valuable lessons about forgiveness, authenticity, and the true meaning of growing up. With humor and heart, the film captures the emotional ups and downs of adolescence and the importance of celebrating life’s milestones with the people who matter most.
